John DeMicco’s Story

“I had been drinking for 40 years”.

One of nine children, excessive drinking had never been a problem in John’s family, but for him, it was a struggle.

“My dad drank, it was just a normal thing. For my family, drinking was a social thing - they could drink one or two and then stop. But I always drank more. I was drinking a 12 pack of beer every night before I quit.”

After a divorce, John struggled to maintain his housing, so a friend invited him to make a fresh start in South Carolina. The next two years were stable - he met a girl and they lived together in an apartment. But when their lease was not renewed, his girlfriend left him and decided to move back in with her mother, leaving John to try and make it on his own. With the high cost of rent, John was unable to afford an apartment on his own, and quickly became homeless. Thankfully, his girlfriend referred him to New Directions.

At first, John was skeptical about coming to New Directions but with no other options, he decided to give it a try, at least to be able to have a roof over his head. However, John’s stay at the shelter would result in much more than he initially bargained for. “I came here because I was going to be homeless, but I came here and I got sober too… I didn’t want to end up sleeping in the bushes, so I came here to just get back up on my feet, but then I learned about why I drank so much.”

John’s drinking habits had always puzzled him, and through the years he had attempted to understand and resolve those habits, but always came up short. He attended meetings but could never fully get to the root of the issue.

“I just couldn’t figure it out. I could stop for a few days, but couldn’t totally stop, but then I learned from Jon (New Directions’ Peer Support Specialist) why I drink so much. He taught me about the obsession of drinking, that once you put it in you, you can’t stop. I had never heard that before. Nobody ever told me what the problem really was - that there is a physical change in your body that happens (with alcoholism). I understand what I’m doing now and realize that once you are an alcoholic you are the rest of your life. Now that I’ve come to that point in my life, I just won’t give in and I won’t drink anymore because I know where it’s gonna end up, I’ll be right back in here. And I don’t want to do that.”

Once John understood that his drinking was not just a bad habit, but an addiction, and that he would not be able to move forward in life with alcohol in the picture, things started to change. He took advantage of the opportunity to rest and regroup through classes, peer-led groups, and the stability provided at New Directions. “The biggest thing I’ve learned through this is acceptance. Nobody thinks the way you do. You have to remember that and put yourself in their shoes”.

And the hard work that John had been doing on the inside, soon paid off with changes on the outside. He started looking for employment and found a job at Paula Deen’s Family Kitchen (and was quickly given a raise). After just seven months at New Directions, John would leave with a job, his sobriety, and move into an Oxford House (transitional housing for those in recovery) to continue his journey. He became the comptroller of the Oxford House, and is responsible for collecting the shared rents from the other tenants, managing the finances of the house, and holding people accountable to continue to work on their recovery. “Everything is going great. You just have to be patient. Sometimes things happen quickly, sometimes they happen slowly… I feel so much better about myself. Now I’m living in Oxford House and working on saving some more money… I was homeless, but I didn't look at myself that way because I had a roof over my head. Once I put my focus on recovery everything changed towards the better. I’m still learning something new every day.”

Increasingly independent and continuing his recovery, John’s goals for the future are to move into housing of his own and to make amends with his children. He recently started working on the latter and visited his daughter for the first time in many years. Through tears, he expressed, “it was not only the first time that I had seen her in years.. It was the first time in years that she had wanted to see me, that she was happy to see me.”

John still comes by to visit the men at the shelter and attend class with them whenever he can. He enjoys coming back to “show others that there’s hope” and to keep in touch with many of the friends he made during his time with us.

“I’ve learned so much about myself here… I came here because I was homeless, I knew I had a drinking problem, I always paid my bills on time, and then they didn’t renew my lease and now I have my alcoholism under control through being homeless. God put me here for a reason, just to save me. That’s the way I feel about it. It’s amazing because I was drinking my life away and I would have been dead in a couple years.”

Today, a very different John walks through our doors; a John who used to drink his life away but now, is living his life to the fullest; a John who didn’t understand his problem, but now, understands the nature of his past addiction and wants to help others; a John who has learned patience and acceptance and who continues to learn something new each and every day.

“Here’s the final thing I want to say: I came here just for a roof over my head and I became sober”

You can make more stories like John’s possible through your gift to New Directions.